Exclusive

Lately, work has been much and motivation has been low, and for that I apologize. I would like to take this opportunity to exploit the chain of command and their general selfishness and habitual exploitation of the lower enlisted.

One of the few friends I have here in Germany (L) has been nothing less than the unit's personal and only "gofer" ever since we arrived. To start off his terrible situation, in the first couple months here, his wife decides to go home because she does not like it here, he has to get rid of both his dogs because the Army puts him in the barracks, his wife is already pregnant, cheating and wants a divorce. The Army raised his minimum commitment from two years to three since his wife was over here and he had signed for housing, but since she went back, even though he cleared housing and only lived there for two months, they are making him serve all three. He is also not getting any refund for the month that he was not living there, even though he had cleared in plenty of time. This is only the middle of March and he is nowhere near finished being walked on.

So as we slowly and very inconspicuously become integrated into our new unit, "L", "P" and myself find ourselves painting the entire downstairs of the unit's building for at least two weeks. My two friends also got into huge trouble for failing their driver's test, even though they have multiple opportunities to pass and are never completely ineligible. . .

Army in Europe Regulation 190-1
(b) Applicants who fail the test twice will be ineligible for retesting for 2 weeks. If an
applicant fails the test a third time, the applicant will be declared ineligible for retesting for 60
days. (In cases of exceptional hardship, the 60-day waiting period may be waived. Normally, a
waiver will be granted only if recommended by the commander or supervisor and approved by the
officer responsible for operating the testing station.) Retesting will begin with the test the
applicant failed.

So after we finished painting, they had us do several stupid little details around the unit, but eventually myself and my one other friend (P) got placed into positions and trained. "L" got stuck doing little stuff around the unit. First he was told to train in one office so he could pick up on the procedures and eventually do the job himself. Later he was sent downstairs to train and learn a completely different job. He was sent back upstairs, downstairs and upstairs again before they finally figured out that he will just do whatever they need done for each day, regardless of whether or not he gets lunch and breaks. He has cleaned a grill, inside and out, stripped it and painted it. He has done a police call outside and around the parking lot looking for trash and other things that may not belong, including sticks. He has mowed the lawn including the upper parking lot. Today he was sent to the range, sent back because he had a test to raise his general technical score on his ASVAB and it was suppose to take two hours, but took five instead.

Every single time "L" goes to his supervisor, he sends him to another NCO for answers. Every time he goes to another NCO for help, his supervisor gets upset that "L" did not go to him first. Whenever I ask the same supervisor a question, he has to ask his supervisor the same question. I would prefer a supervisor who is willing and able to make on the spot decisions on his own with a minimum of an educated guess. Making stuff up turns you into a liar and asking every question again to your own supervisor makes you obsolete. I do not want to place him into either category, but I think he places himself.

The other bad part about this whole situation, especially for "L" is that our NCO's supervisor is a civilian who, though retired, knows nothing about the Army.

Something I would like to stress is the fact that things change. . . often. The Army is changing on a daily basis. It is not the "Real Army" or "New Army". It is the "Old Army" and "Real Army". Things change in hopes of making them better. Most of the changes made are made by soldiers who have been in and serving for more than ten, fifteen maybe even twenty years. Why is it when things change and someone does not understand them, they claim it is the "New Army", but when it is something they like they claim it is the "Real Army"? Change is inevitable and those of us involved in it need to learn to adjust and embrace it. "Adapt and overcome" is one famous motto that comes to mind. How can you learn to do so if you dwell in the past.

I remember back in my day. . . well stop. War is all over history and we have yet to learn from it because we have been, are and ever will be involved in some kind of war. I realize that many may disagree with me, but it is about putting yourself in the other person's shoes, not necessarily understanding them. Please forward your responses to Traveling Soldier and Military Project. I would love to hear what every one has to say.

Stolen or Lost

Flower calls from Saarbrucken crying her eyes out. She says she had her wallet stolen somewhere between the Neubrucke train station and there and got off the train to call and report it. She was looking for a way to get back because she had no money. I felt bad for her. Poor girl who doesn't speak german lost in the middle of nowhere. So I gave her the staff duty number to her unit and told her to come in and make a formal report when she got back.
She cam in a little while later and, while we only handle lost ID cards, I had the patrol take an additional statement from her, just to make her feel good. She thanks me and leaves.
The interpreter comes into the desk area a couple days later and says that there is someone in the Polizei station claiming that a taxi driver stole their wallet. I asked what their name was and it turned out to be the same flower. The linguist took care of the phone call and minutes later, someone turned in her wallet in a brown paper bag with her name and address on it. I began calling around to get in touch with her. I sent a patrol to her room and told them to tell her that we needed to do some more paperwork on her case. Unfortunately, my coworker was unaware of this and she called in, so he told her that we have her wallet.
Well, we wanted to screw around and have a little fun with the girl that had already wasted our time and accused a German national of stealing her wallet, when in fact she was just irresponsible. She came in and I had her take a seat downstairs and wait while the investigator with access to the property room (me) was called in to get her wallet (found my motivation to pick it up off the desk and give it back). We had her sit downstairs for fifteen minutes or so and then I had the patrol tell her that the investigator was on his way and would be there shortly. She came upstairs and I told her it would be about ten more minutes. Sergeant Marine was off to the side. I told her to wait more and I made up a fake 4137 evidence form. Sergeant Marine played Desk Specialist for a minute and I walked around with the girl's wallet , had her sign for the stuff and sent her on her way. While she checked to see if everything was there, she tore EVERYTHING out of the wallet. Once again, wasting our time. She claimed that there was money missing, but all her IDs and credit cards were there.
We never told her that we knew she was a lying, untrustworthy, conniving little snitch. But we made her wait over an hour for something that usually takes less than one minute to take care of. Needless to say, we all got a wonderful laugh out of the whole situation. Moral of the story is, don't blame your troubles on other people.

How Abe Lincoln Really Died

For the people who say they haven't seen it. . .

Pet Peeves

So, as an MP, when we do a case we use a predetermined format for each case. On the desk here, we use them for reports of incidents only, mostly because the desk sergeant doesn't type up the synopsis for anything but. The problem comes when I realized that they really are quite useless. It only takes simple common sense and reasonable deduction to determine the type of information that needs to go in a report. However, it's really quite annoying when too many people come up behind you while you're working and tell you certain ways to do things. The bad part is that they more than likely supersede you in the chain of command and, therefore, you must listen to them. If you piss them off too much, by not doing it their way, you could lose quite a bit. The thing that annoys me most is when they tell me things like, "click on. . ." or "Grab a cover sheet, a pen and write. . . " Really? I'm on a computer and I'm going to click on something? I need to write something and I need a pen to do so? Amazing. You have opened my eyes in so many ways. On the job training needs to be trained themselves. I told a private tonight that there's nothing I hate more than having my intelligence insulted. Tell me what needs to be done. If I run it by you, it's for a second set of eyes and ears. I check to make sure all the t's are crossed and all the i's are dotted, not to see if it's done YOUR way. I believe firmly in collaboration. Don't tell me step-by-step how to do it. You may as well do it yourself. I would like to make it clear that this is not a complaint about a specific person, but this does apply to my whole life. I don't care what is suppose to be done, just tell me what it is and I will make sure it gets done. If I believe there is a "right" way, I will ask. I suppose I am opposed to offers of assistance.

Check the Skill Level. . . Shut Up!

So tickets are being accepted by Godd both with the boxes checked and unchecked. Which basically means he couldn't care less about how they're turned in. Well, most of them have the boxes checked so I asked a patrol to fix one of their tickets. When they went on to explain that they always turn them in this way, I told them I would find out how Godd wants them done and get back to them. Blotter Gossip lasted forever. Not to mention we're never given the opportunity for questions unless he's the one that instigates it. So I had to interrupt and fish for the answer on this one. I asked him, "Some of the patrols check the boxes and some don't, but I was wondering how you want it done so that it's the same all the way across the board from now on?" He told me to check the skill level one manual because that's what he goes by. Allow me to explain why he is a liar. First of all, the skill level one manual doesn't cover traffic tickets which, oh by the way, are DD form 1408. I'm willing to bet, though he looks at them every day, he still doesn't know that they're a DD form and not a DA form. The other problem is, they're not in a manual, they're in an tArmy regulation, 190-45 which covers the basic way to fill one out. (Chapter 7, section 6). The FM that covers MP work is FM 19-25, which I found via google. The problem is that I can't find any manual or publication that covers the exact "proper" way to fill out a DD form 1408, or military traffic ticket. The other problem is that, though I've been told that FMs are for guidance only and not law, 19-25 covers pacing with patrol cars and how the speedometers are suppose to be calibrated at a minimum of every three months to ensure that if & when a speeding ticket is written using the pacing method, it's a legitimate ticket and won't get thrown out. Another problem is that the DD form 1408 was originally designed as a warning so that points would not be put on the driver's license and the soldier would not have to pay money and the command would have the opportunity to fix the problem themselves. Though the idea of how they are suppose to be handled has changed, the publications governing such use have not.

The moral of this story is that though we live in the information age, there seems to be a major lack of such within the people who seek to be law. In other words, power hungry morons determine the definition of things, even though I may have the correct, opposing information in hand. FML

Conversions

The toughest thing for the patrols over here, no matter how much experience they have, is the conversion from kilometers to miles. I very seldom recieve a ticket written to someone for five or ten kilometers per hour over the speed limit. I ask them, "You do realize this is only five to eight miles per hour over the speed limit?" Now, I fully support officer discretion, but if I'm going to get a speeding ticket, at least make it worth the punishment my chain of command is going to give me and write me for fifteen or thirty kilometers per hour over the speed limit. How awesome do I sound, going to work the next day saying, "I got a speeding ticket yesterday for ten kilometers per hour over the speed limit", when my car is capable of more than 160 miles per hour? Wow, dude, you drive your american muscle car like a grandma and get speeding tickets. The officer might as well write me a ticket for being retarded.

Chasing Dave's '03 Mustang Cobra from Scott Benavides on Vimeo.

Surfing

So I cruise around on this site. It's the only video site that doesn't get blocked at work, besides this one of course. I was looking up comedians, mostly mainstream ones because they have more videos, when I ran across this one.

Biceps from Peter Berkman

I found this interesting in many ways. One is that about two years ago, Bret reccomended a documentary put out by produced by Jamie Kennedy and directed by Michael Addis called Heckler. A very funny and interesting film about all types of entertainers getting heckled and how they handle it. Some of them even sit down with the hecklers and ask them why they think the entertainers aren't doing a good job. One of the female entertainers even admits to having been a heckler when she was drunk at somebody's show. I highly reccomend this to everyone else. You will not regret watching it. I also find his bicep pick up technique interesting.